- Shades of California Angel (feel free to ask for a link to my review) in which even traumatised little children won't stop obsessing over how OMG BEAUTIFUL the self-insert Mary Sue is.

I'll gladly take a link to it! I've never heard of it before, but I'm intrigued.

- Yeah, like if gay guys were actually allowed to exist, sooner or later she'd probably end up hitting on one and losing her shit because why doesn't he want to sleep with her??

If someone ever writes a spitefic for that, I want to know immediately. That would be hilarious.

- If this was Axis, it'd be crickets and tumbleweed. And Axis would have been WAY douchier about it.

...you don't think anyone would mind if he just...accidentally got pushed into the river, do you? Because I'll volunteer to do it. He hasn't even shown up in a few parts and the very thought of him still pisses me off. Just one little bump and SPLASH.

- Oh, believe me, she hasn't even gotten started in that department.

WHYYYY must you take that as a personal challenge, Douglass? It wasn't; I promise you it wasn't!